names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
