I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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