Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
