Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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