Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
