I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
