It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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