I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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