I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
