Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
