im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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