i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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