I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize