she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
