somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
