Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
