R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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