Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think my moral compass just broke
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