I just cut my nipple shaving
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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