I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
