the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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