i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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