dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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