i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
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You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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