I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
