You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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