we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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