dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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