literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
