please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
