is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
