i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
