and she was petting her beer can
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
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We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
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You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.