Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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  (303): Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega http://tfl.nu/145a
  Replies (11) Good night (2600) Bad night (722)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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  (513): She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment. http://tfl.nu/tn42
  Replies (25) Good night (1057) Bad night (4538)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"

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  (248): They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick" http://tfl.nu/5fi0
  Replies (13) Good night (4749) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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  (212): Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing. http://tfl.nu/tshz
  Replies (39) Good night (3659) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.

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  (205): I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy. http://tfl.nu/rek5
  Replies (15) Good night (4025) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.

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  (484): I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/welv
  Replies (13) Good night (3219) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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  (251): I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts. (478): Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions. http://tfl.nu/kp4v
  Replies (13) Good night (2897) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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  (850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox
  Replies (1) Good night (1262) Bad night (1846)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You almost married that.

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  (412): Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower. (1-412): You almost married that. http://tfl.nu/nlo1
  Replies (7) Good night (2469) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....

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  (775): I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets.... http://tfl.nu/2q79
  Replies (12) Good night (940) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles

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  (313): we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/5ilu
  Replies (12) Good night (953) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

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  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing

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  (310): Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing http://tfl.nu/gwvn
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  That shot was terrible

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up

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  (502): That shot was terrible (1-502): You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up http://tfl.nu/89cf
  Replies (0) Good night (289) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote

  (310): View more from California

  What should I do?

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  (310): Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote (310): What should I do? http://tfl.nu/vq8o
  Replies (3) Good night (380) Bad night (290)

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