There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
