Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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