My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize