I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
