D3 body, D1 cock
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
sex in a hospital.. check
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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