I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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