I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
