apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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