you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
