im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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