Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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