It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
