I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
