why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
