Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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