I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
