just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
