Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
