in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
