ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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