Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
