So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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