I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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