Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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