one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
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